How to Have a Healthy Relationship, With Yourself.


Sex begins long before what is called "losing your virginity." It begins in the moments that lead up to your conception and throughout your nourishment in the womb. This means you came into existence from sex and you learned about your physical being before you were conscious through sex. While in the womb fetuses are said to show mechanisms of thumbsucking and masturbating without evidence of them feeling a sensation. This suggests that before you become a living being you use your body to connect to your consciousness. As stated in the aforementioned article, orgasms keep your neurotransmitters functioning healthily. So when we keep our thinking habits healthy paired with consistent orgasms (which can be achieved without a partner), that reflects in our actions and relationships with others.


How to have one.
Start by being open and honest with yourself about yourself.  Having relationships with others means vying for a position in their life. This is why it's not a problem to have yourself a priority, self-love and self-care is important for one thing and it also helps you to identify the people who have similar qualities and the qualities you desire and need. It is important to know and understand yourself and that involves nourishing your best qualities, protecting your energy as well as dealing with problematic thoughts and past or current trauma.

How to recognize when yours needs some work.
The questions here is can you admit where you fall short or even identify where you need to grow? Once you've come to your self-realization the next step is to nurture or heal those new epiphanies. Depending on the severity of the internal situation and your economic situation you will have to decide if you need to change the way you think, change your habits, and/or seek counseling then do the best within your means to implement that. If you have limited or no insurance, try doing a google search for "low cost or free therapy" in your hometown or closest metropolitan area for that help. There are also apps that offer professional therapists for a discount price if you a strapped for cash and still want to make that effort.

How to recognize when it's abusive
The adage "you can't truly love someone until you fully love and accept yourself" is an honest testament to how the relationships we have with ourselves is reflected in how we treat others and the type of people we chose to have around us. Often times, we chose these people based on how we relate and if they are of benefit to us, which isn't inherently wrong. Those tropes depend primarily on how we compartmentalize them: do they supplement me vs do they feed my ego? Am I seeing myself in them or do  I see an advantage or flaw I can manipulate? The latter of the questions usually come from a place of narcissim /extreme insecurity making them problematic. Your innermost thoughts about yourself, how you relate, and what you project onto others reflect in exclusive relationships, how you negotiate a marriage contract, not to mention how you express love and companionship with your friends. There's a stark difference between our actual and ideal selves and the best mirrors are our platonic, romantic, and familial relationships.


Having a healthy relationship with yourself means identifying and tactfully communicating your desires and boundaries. It means to have the mental capacity to know when you are stable or have to recalibrate behaviors that won't result in a change in the people and situations you draw to you, allow to stay in your presence and experience you as a being in any capacity. The relationship with yourself is just as important and sets the precedent for the ones the manifest through others.



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